Gay attraction

The word gay means you are intimately attracted to other guys. This means you are attracted to other guys physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Being gay is not defined by your sporting ability, styles of clothing, the way you stand, talk, or who your friends are.

Sometimes we hear stuff like, “you’re too tough to be gay” or, “you’re not good enough at art to be gay”. Some people might say, “you are too young to know whether we are gay or not”.

All of these things are just people stuff and not necessarily gay stuff.


“It’s like your subconscious says to your conscious ‘hey buddy, you really like guys!”

When you first feel attracted to a guy you might feel excited, confused, uncertain, relieved or comfortable. You may also experience some of these feelings all at the same time.

You might doubt how real your feelings are and whether it is alright to feel this like this.

Exploring our thoughts and feelings for others is a natural part of who we are as guys and happens for guys everywhere. This can be an ongoing process of discovery and experimentation.

Understanding ourselves means valuing ourselves, along with the uniqueness and similarities within each of us.

“It’s a part of me and no one can, or will, change that, it’s who I am.”

Attraction seems to happen without thinking about it.

For some guys, they wake up one morning and realise they have always been attracted to other guys. Some guys may have known since they were really young.

Either way, we become aware of how good we feel and how we have always been attracted to guys and how natural this has felt. Such beautifully warm feelings can never be wrong!

Why me?

When you first realise that you are attracted to guys you might worry about all kinds of stuff like:

  • am I the only guy who feels this way?
  • will I ever meet the right guy?
  • does that guy I’m attracted to feel the same way?

What is really important to keep in mind is that we all realise our attraction in our own way and time and that’s perfectly normal.

“I was so confused, all I could think about was being gay!”

Realising you might be gay can be a confusing time and it often happens when you are learning heaps of stuff about who you are and how you want to be.

Discovering your sexuality is a major part of learning about the more personal parts of who you are and this can take time to understand. Remember, sexuality is not the only part of who you are as a guy.

“To know that I wasn’t the only one, to see positive gay role-models and someone to talk to was a relief.”