What are relationships?
Relationships can be trial and error and can come in many forms. They can be the friendships you have with girls and guys or the relationship you have with your family – aunts, uncles – even your pet!
Relationships are about how we relate to people we care about or have close contact with.
Intimate relationships are the ones that make us feel nervous, warm, giggly, curious or maybe a bit adventurous. They are different and separate from the other relationships that we are involved with in our every day lives.
Just like breathing, intimate relationships are normal.
We learn about intimate relationships by observing our parents, movies, books, grandparents, society and culture, popular media (like TV, magazines and books, advertising, our favorite love songs), along with other people in general.
Just as we notice our bodies changing as we get older we also notice our private thoughts changing as well. It’s all just a natural part of life.
Whatever is happening to you is alright, but you might be looking to explore or explain the feelings and attractions you are having about other girls.
Like any other person, you want to find out what it feels like to explore those feelings with someone you may be attracted to.
Exploring intimate relationships
Maybe you’ve heard about or seen people at school who are getting together, or have been together for a while.
Most of those people are heterosexual (girls and guys together), or maybe you have observed lesbian relationships. Either way, there are going to be positives and negatives. How we feel about our observations are as individual as the way we brush our hair in the mornings.
If our observations of relationships are mainly heterosexual, and we know what that looks like, how do we find an understanding of lesbian relationships?
Initially it can be like being in a strange place and not feeling certain about your surroundings, and just to make it a bit more difficult it’s night time and the lights are off. It could leave you feeling isolated, alone and frightened or excited
It can be hard for young people to find ways to learn about and explore intimate relationships with other young people. You might have to find creative ways of finding out if the people you are attracted to are attracted to you. Or you may wonder if it’s ok for you to hold hands, kiss, be affectionate with each other at school, the mall, home or in public.
It’s great if you can talk with your friends about how you are feeling so you do not feel alone, but it can also be hard for many reasons including not wanting to be rejected, ridiculed or shamed by those whose opinions of you really matter.
Whatever you are experiencing, be sure to explore your feelings and attractions in your own time and pace that makes you feel safe and
comfortable. Often, the more people learn about their feelings and attractions, the more comfortable they feel about their sexuality.
Learning about relationships and intimacy is a life long journey, which can change over time as you learn more about who you are.
For some, enjoying friendship, closeness and love are the important things. For others, it is the opportunity to have sex. Others want both or neither.Different people want different things out of relationships. It is important to think about what you might want and expect in a relationship.